Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Is this your child?

There is a proud parent out there somewhere who took this digital image and passed it on to a friend, who passed it on to a friend, who passed it on....

My sister-in-law and my girlfriend both sent me this picture. I can only imagine how many millions of people have viewed it by now. This poor baby will grow up in the shadow of having been the child who kissed/licked a pig snout.

Mothers are so cruel to their children. They save pictures of you playing in your underwear, wearing soup bowls, poking your silly, goofy eyes through a pair of scissors, and doing a million other things that kids think are funny but grow up to regret when Mom brings out the photo album to show your new girlfriend how "cute" you were when you were little.

What did mothers do before cameras were invented? How did they humliate their children throughout life? Did they save every blanket and diaper, every sleeping gown, every ribbon, and say, "This is from when Litte Johnny ate too much pumpkin pie for his third Halloween"?

Maybe that explains why there are so many wars. Julius Caesar, Genghis Khan, Adolf Hitler, and Osama Bin Laden probably did not bring their girlfriends home to Mom. They weren't humiliated, given the "he's so cute" treatment, and shown what it means to be human. Maybe they resented not being loved by their mothers so much they had to just go out and conquer as much of the world as possible (of course, Bin Laden is a pretty sad world-conquerer -- at least Sadam Hussein got to terrorize an entire nation for 20+ years before slinking off to his underground hideaway).

Well, psychologists may conclude thaht this picture is harmless, but I think it may be the difference between a young child growing up curious and the next mad dictator growing up furious.

Instead of villainizing the United States and playing cozy with the world's barbarians and mad dictators, maybe Hugo Chavez should call home and say, "Mom, I've got a new girl I want you to meet. Do you still have the family photo album?"


Blogger WBS said...

I'll do you one better - I didn't lick a pig, I ATE ONE!

8:51 AM  

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